Who or what get's better?

One common aspect of recovery is the notion of "getting better."  What gets "better" is important to understand.  Reality doesn't change much and although there are some aspects of our reality that we can work on, most of the changing involves our cognitive world.  When people say "it" gets better they mean that "we" ourselves change and that makes dealing with the reality easier.  We learn new behavior/cognitive/ spiritual strategies that allow us to live in a healthier and moire productive manner.  If you are hanging around waiting for the outside world to change, waiting to reality to change, you've got a long wait coming.  If on the other hand your willing to work on the "inside" reality in your own head then you can make great progress.  How can I change my cognitive/behavior/spiritual life to better adapt to the situation before me?  Its all right there in the Serenity Prayer, and in that annoying 10th Step injunction, "When ever we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us."