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Slogan, Saying or Phrase

Is it odd or is it God?
I was at a recovery retreat this weekend and I heard a speaker (Fred Holmquist from Hazelden) who was very well versed in Big Book and 12x12 history and content.  His topic was "The Gifts of a Broader Unmanageability, Reflecting a Deeper Powerlessness."  The topic itself of course was provocative and certainly underscores the richer meaning that wach of the Twelve Steps can take on with longer term recovery. But the question remains when something unusual occurs is it just statistically improbable or is there some deeper meaning?
The story of Fred's speaking was that he had accidently sat beside one of the people planning this retreat at a meal at the Bill Wilson House in...
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I may not be much but I'm all I think about.
The egocentricity of the person with alcoholism or addiction is really startling.  This self-centeredness is a key theme of Alcohoilics Anonymous.  Getting rid of the burden of self, the concern for self, is a key component of Twelve Step recovery.  All the steps begin with ""we."  Compassion for others, concern for others, working with others are the hallmarks of successful recovery. If you are having a bad day, pick up the phone and call another recovering person and see what you can do to brighten their day.  Perhaps send someone a helpful, hopeful email.  Get out of your self.  Get over you. This is one of the oldest spiritual messages. ...
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"I used to thank God for putting A.A. in my life; now I thank A.A. for putting God in my life. (p. 336 BB)"
In some way it doesn't really matter how we get to A.A. or how we get God, as we understand him, in our lives.  There are so many ways for this to happen.  This quote from the Alcoholics Anonymous story "Crossing the River of Denial" comes from the heart. This woman experienced God as a physical sensation, a wave of pure energy, and like so many of us she, "...felt the presence of God in that dingt little room."
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Take my advice, I'm not using it.
There are people in A.A. who know what needs to be done to gewt sober and to stay sober they're just not doing that right now.  I was listening to a man who had been in and out  of A.A. for years.  He knew what needed to be done but he had only just begun again to do it.
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Spiritus Contra Spiritum
This phrase occurs in Carl Jung's written response to Bill Wilson's 1950's letter regarding Rowland H.'s alcoholism and subsequent recovery through a powerful spiritual experience.  Jung had told Rowland that the only hope for him was a profound spiritual experience  Spiritus in Latin means both alcoholic beverages, i.e., spirits, and the highest religious experience. In relating this simple phrase Jung confirmed for Bill that the A.A. program aimed at spiritual development and a spiritual awakening, as treatment for alcoholism, was the correct direction.  This confirmation from such a respected figure was extremely importasnt to Bill. 
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My bottome has a trap door
I heard this recently at a meeting.  The speaker proceeded to say that what he thought of as his bottom really wasn't and he kind of fell through that particular bottom to an even lower level of despair and degradation.  In that sense his perceived bottom was just another stop on the downward elevator.  You just never know what your bottom might really be and he decided right then and there to devote his energy to getting sober and staying sober.  Interesting concept.
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People who don't go to A.A. meetings don't hear what happens to people who don't go to A.A. meetings.
This is one of those expressions that you have to think about the first time you hear it.  Once you "get it" its so obvious.  A.A. or N/A. meetings are the medicine we take to stay well.  We hear with great frequency the results from our colleagues who start drinking again or "pick up" again.  Often we ask those individuals who "went out," i.e., left meetings, whether it got any better. I've never met anyone who said it got better.  In fact, regular A.A. attendance has convinced me that I have a treatable illness and if I go to A.A., my treatment, and listen to the stories of returnees I am more and more convinced of this simple fact.  Alcoholism is an illness...
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People who don't go to A.A. meetings don't hear what ghappens to people who don't go to A.A. meetings.
You don't have to go to too many A.A. or N.A. meetings before you hear a story about the consequences of picking up a drink or a drug.  Often "picking up" leads to another long exploration of life while drinking and or drugging.  The typical question if someone returns to A.A. is, "Did it get any better?"  Even if the question isn't asked directly its what people want to know. But the answer can be discovered by just going to A.A. regularly and listening to the stories about relapse and return to A.A.  It never seems to get better.  It never seems to work out.  Now if you go to A.A. regularly you hear this over and over and so you don't have to try it yourself...
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A.A. didn't open up the gates of heaven and let me in, but it did open up the gates of hell and let me out.
No alcoholic is having fun.  In fact alcoholism is one of the most physically and emotionally unpleasant disorders in the diagnostic lexicon.  Its particularly the feelings: the depression, guilt, anxiety, loneliness, shame, desolation.  Its hell and the alcoholic is convinced that the only friend left to help her is the drug alcohol.  The she comes to A.A. and if she can stick it out for a little while the emotional hell is gone and she can begin to develop the tools necessary to live again.  A.A. certainly isn't heaven but it can get you out of your own personal hell.
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I gave up everything for one thing, now I've given up that one thing and received everything.
Last evening I was at the Park Street Meeting in Boston.  Its a big meeting, maybe 150 people, quite urbane, Yale to jail represented.  I met a couple of people who shared a common ancestry in A.A., knew Beech Hill,Birch Acres, Marion Johnson, Irene Deviney, Eddie Dalton, the old timers.  A group from Charlestown put on the meeting.  The chairman was good, let the speakers speak and the first guy was excellent, had the gift, noted that for 30 years he had lived in Roxbury only traveling within a one mile radius in a world where no one knew anything about anything except what went on in that microcosm.  He been sober about three years, a newcomer, expressed a lot of...
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I FOUND IT (in A.A.)
This was a bumper sticker I saw on a truck.  The word "it" is often used in A.A.  "I've got 'it' today." "I had 'it' but I lost 'it.'  What is 'it?'
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If you don't change your sobriety date will.
There is a lot of emphasis in recovery on changing and growing in positive directions.  Part of the notion is that one's alcoholism is not a static illness but a dynamic thing that is dealt with by growing better and better every day in every way.  Its spiritual growing we're talking about here.  My first goal on my goal list (yes I in fact have a goal list) is "Don't drink or drug and grow spiritually."  I figure if I make that a priority I'll be OK for today.
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God forgives you, why can't you forgive your self?
In his latest book George Vaillant describes an African American woman, the mother of a teenager, who had been murdered by another young black male who was convicted of the crime.  She has come to the sentencing to make a victims statement.  To a hushed and expectant courtroom she said something like: "I'm here today to tell you that what you did was wrong but that I forgive you."  As you can imagine this was not what was expected and her more detailed statement left many in tears.  In fact, when I re-read Vaillant's description I teared up a little.

There is an awesome power in forgiveness.  The idea that we are forgiven by our higher power, for the...
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You'll lose everthing you put before your recovery.
Make a list of everything that's important to you. Do it fast without undue critical thought.
Now give each of the things on the list a number with the number "1" being the most important thing.  Do this in private, be honest with yourself.  This is just for you.  One way to measure what is important to you is to think about how much time, energy or money you invest in it.  A pretty wise man I know, told me that over time everything you put before your recovery will be taken away.  If you go to meetings you know this is true, if you don't go to meetings then you may find out what happens to people who don't put the treatment of this deadly illness first.
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Other people's opinions about me are none of my business.
Relationships, maybe just interactions, with other human beings are fraught with difficulty for the alcoholic.  The "Big Book" says that resentments toward others are one of the core defects of every alcoholic.  The Steps are of course, in part, designed to free us from resentments,but the cognitive behavioral strategy implicit in this statement can be just what you need to keep you from drinking on any given day.  What other people think is really none of my business.  Some people may like us and applaud what we do, that's there privilege and its certainly nice to hear about that.  Other people may have a less favorable view and some for whatever reason may dislike...
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If someone was hitting you with a baseball bat would you ask them to slow down or stop?
Addicts take a beating from their substance(s).  Alcoholism, other drug addictions will take everything that you value sometimes spectacularly, but most often slowly and gradually.  Your physical health, your family, your friends, your profession, your house, your car, your self esteem, you name it.  It is like getting beaten up.  And the alcoholic or the addict says "I'll cut down." "I won't do hard drugs just dope." "I'll just drink beer." "I'll stop using entirely for a few weeks."  There are those periods every alcoholic can remember when he "cut down" or stopped for a while.  Things weren't quite so bad, but they weren't good and the person isn't happy....
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Relationships are like Miracle Grow for my character defects
A guy I really like and respect spoke last evening.  He was celebrating nineteen years and is an excellent speaker.  He works a good A.A. program and emphasizes putting energy daily into treating this chronic illness we both have.  He often says that recovery is like trying to go up a down escalator, you have to work at it pretty hard just to stay in the same place much less get better.

Last night he was talking about relationships and how relationships trigger most of his character defects.  Sometimes I think that if there were no other "normal" people in my life it would be a lot easier to stay sober.  People trigger my character defects too, other...
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People, Places and Things
"You'd drink too if you had my wife, my job, my problems, etc." is heard from every alcoholic and addict.  We ourselves are often confused and think that we drink to relieve problems created by persons, places and things.  Eventually we see that we drink because we want to, then we need to, then we have to.  Our drinking is only marginally connected to people, places and things.  When we become alcoholic our drinking is like breathing, we have no choice.

To recover we must stop blaming people, places and things and accept our illness.  We can learn to cope with situations in our lives only after we stop drinking.  Learning to stop drinking and then...
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HEAT
Sometimes I forget that other people use slogans and sayings and acronyms to remind them of how to behave in various situations.  My wife was talking about complaining clients.  She's the CEO of a large health care organization and she tells her managers to use HEAT when dealing with complaints.  Hear, Empathize, Apologize and Take action.  I thought that was pretty useful.  I don't know whether I can do it all the time when people start complaining to me but there is no reason not to try.

There is a lot to learn from the world outside of A.A.  I want to be open to all of these experiences and suggestions.
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If someone else had done to me what I've been doing to myself I would have killed him.
This really captures how strong our denial is.  If someone said to you: I'm going to force you to drink alcohol and take other drugs.  As a result you are going to drop out of school, marry, have a child, physically and mentally abuse your wife, go to jail, and neglect your child, and get divorced.  Then for a few years you are going to become abstinent and rebuild your life.  You'll go to school, develop a great professional life, buy a house and remarry and have kids again.  Then I'm going to force you to resume drinking and taking drugs and blow up that whole situation.  You'll then begin a round of treatment centers and failed attempts to get well. ...
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Y. E. T.
I remember early in my A.A. experience I would say, "That hasn't happened to me."  People would cryptically add "Yet!"  They told me if you put periods in the word Y.E.T. it stands for "You're eligible too."  Eligible for all the things that happen to people who are alcoholic and continue to drink and take other drugs.  They said that there are plenty of "yets" and they are referring to the progression of our illness.

If an alcoholic continues to drink and take other drugs, slowly and apparently inevitably, things happen that s/he was only dimly aware could happen.  And the things are not pleasant.  Have you had a withdrawal seizure yet?  Have...
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Meetings are our medicine.
We must go to meetings regularly.  It is through our experience at meetings that we share our experience, strength and hope as A.A. members.  It is at meetings that we have the opportunity to identify and remember when.  It is at meetings that we experience fellowship and welcome the newcomer.  It is at meetings that we sit up front and listen.  It is at meetings that we distribute our literature and remind ourselves in the repetition of the Preamble what it is we are doing together.

It is often said that meetings are our medicine.  Just as the diabetic must manage her diet and take her insulin, we must not drink and go to meetings.  The...
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A Program of Suggestions
A.A. was describe to me as a "program of suggestions" by the people who took me to meetings and taught me about the program.  There seemed to be a keen awareness that we alcoholics had been told, confronted, before, and that others had tried to regulate our behavior unsuccessfully.  In the program there was an insistence that the program seem to work best by doing certain things.  By following some simple suggestions, I could reduce the pain I was experiencing and learn to live happily without alcohol or other drugs.  There was a calm sense that if I didn't follow the suggestions I could have more of the bitter experience that had brought me to A.A. in the first place....
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When I drink I've got a manager.
There was a guy in Southie named appropriately Bill W. who always seems to be the chairman of a particular meeting there on Saturday mornings.  Its a real good meeting, and Bill W. is a real good talker.  Often my sponsor and I would get up early on Saturday morning, we'd have breakfast someplace in Brighton like the Pig'n Whistle or Joanna's or we'd grab a muffin downtown, hit Filene's Basement for the day's bargain and then go to the meeting.

Bill takes pretty good care of himself now, new teeth and last time I saw him he had some lizard skin shoes and a really nice watch.  That day it was raining and Bill said it was good to be clean and dry instead of in the...
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If you could'uv you would'uv but you didn't so you can't.
The refrain of some many sick and suffering alcoholics and drug addicts is "i can do it myself if I want to."

I met a man in A.A. who taught me a lot.  Jimmy Logan, now dead God bless him, had a very congenial and friendly manner as well as a very rough and tough one.  He had worked on the Boston waterfronts and was well known in Boston A.A. circles.  I was reminded of him the other day.

I was talking with a 79 y.o., male, alcoholic who was in our rehabilitation hospitals and he was basically through with detoxification, it had lasted longer than normal, and he was still quite physically and mentally sick.  We were discussing the fact that if he...
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Every time I drink I break out in spots.
I remeber a man saying at a meeting that every time he drank he broke out in spots: spots like Chicago or Hawaii.  He said that once he picked up a drink he never knew where the drink would take him.

I remember once after a period of sobriety picking up a drink and then becoming conscious and becoming aware that I was moving.  I had thought at first I was in bed.  Then I realized I was in a car and the sun was rising.  The last thing I could recall was being at home and it was evening.  It turned out I was about a hundred miles from home, missing about twelve hours of time, with a friend I hadn't seen in a while and I didn't know how I had arrived at...
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The Joy is in the Journey
For much of my life, I was trying to get some place.  Although the place varied with the activity I was involved in at the time I was always aiming for some fixed point in the future.  If it was business or professional matters, then I was thinking about that job or position or business deal that would finally be satisfying and make me large sums of money so I'd never have to worry.

I'm a physical fitness nut, which was ironic when I was drinking and drugging, and I was always trying to get to some point of physical fitness where I would look and feel just the way I wanted to.  It was, of course, even more true of my drinking.  I really only wanted to get to...
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Wherever you go there you are.
This was one of those expressions which really startled me when I first heard it.  It was totally new to me, yet when I thought about it I immediately understood the meaning of the slogan and it had a peculiarly powerful impact.  Even now as I say it to myself it seems catchy and surprising.

So often we try and change the outward circumstances of our lives in an attempt to deal with how we feel.  Sometimes it works for a brief period.  We buy new clothes, a new car, or change jobs, relationships or geographical locations.  Sooner or later the old thoughts and feelings are back-- for many people the unhappiness is vague and not intense-- but for us...
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Put a jackass in a crate in Boston ship it to LA, open the crate, and you still have a jackass.
I often thought that if I changed my location to a new town, city, state or country, that things would be different.  And so I tried what is known as the "geographical cure."  Things sometimes worked better at first but they always seemed to get back to the same rotten situation I had moved to get away from.  When I heard this saying at a meeting, that little light bulb went on in mind mind.  The expression helped me touinderstand why that would always be the case.
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Don't drink even if your ass is on fire!
I hope I will never forget my first A.A. meeting which was where I heard Louise say, "Don't drink even if your ass is on fire."  The meeting was a downtown Boston Sunday afternoon meeting at Emmanuel Church on Newbury Street.  Big old room, some actives, some street people, some patients from the mental health center and the gamut of other folks one might expect at an urban A.A. meeting.

I was so sick "rattling and rolling," shaking and sweating, coming off a five day binge, that I could only half remember.  Louise looked beatific and calm (she reminded me of those wonderful women you see coming out of beauty parlors on Saturday afternoon) and she was knitting and...
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Keep it simple stupid. (Kiss)
We are so sick when we come to treatment for our alcoholism and other addictions, and we don't even know it.  Often all we have been able to do on a daily basis is drink or drug and that's really keeping it simple.  Now as we try to get better we are often concerned about the myriad details or major issues in our lives.  This slogan reminds us to keep our eye on the ball.  If we can do the simple things which are suggested to give us a day's sobriety, that is enough.

The last thing Dr. Bob Smith, co-founder of A.A., said to Bill Wilson, the other co-founder, was "For God's sake Billy, keep it simple."  Dr. Bob knew that Bill, like many of us, tended to...
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First things First
It is truly amazing how often alcoholics fail to keep their priorities in order.  So often we let material concerns, personal relationships, legal matters, etc., get in the way of the pursuit of sobriety.  The fact that makes this amazing is that the failure to keep sobriety number one leads to the possibility of losing everything including our lives.

Even those who try to help us professionally, psychologists, psychiatrists, and other counselors, fail to fully understand that the most significant priority for any alcoholic on any given day is the s/he not drink or take other drugs.  With a firm grip on sobriety through practicing the principles of A.A., we can...
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Honesty without compassion is hostility.
Yesterday was the 49th anniversary of the Community Association Serving Alcoholics (CASA) and as usually I participated by doing two workshops on slogans and sayings.  In discussing favorites Bill F. offered the following that he had heard at a meeting, “Honesty without compassion is hostility.”  Like a lot of these slogans and sayings, I didn’t quite get it at first.  That’s so typical of these little gems.  But I repeated it a few times and it made me think of all those debates I’ve participated in about confrontation strategies particularly in the TC model.  It also reminded me of the warmness and hopefulness of the men, particularly those solid “old timers,” I...
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A.A. means attitude alteration.
I don't know how many times toward the end of my drinking and drugging that people told me I had a bad attitude.  I resented that although anytime I did think about it I was never really sure what was meant or what to do.

Today I know a few things.  I drank and drugged partially because I didn't like the way I thought and felt.  Of course eventually I didn't have a choice and I just drank because I needed to even though by then it didn't seem to help for long or work very well,  Drinking and drugging were the tools that I learned to change my internal life to my liking and to cope with situations in the external world.  Some people learned more...
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Don't drink!
For me the exclamation "Don't drink!" or its equivalent "Don't drug!" is the most important statement in recovery.  This is the painfully simple, often overlooked solution.  I didn't even realize that it was the drinking and taking other drugs that was killing me and that had already taken so much from me.  It was in the halls of Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) that I learned that if I didn't drink, I wouldn't get drunk.  A.A. provided me with this insight and the program helped me stay away from drugs and alcohol once I stopped.

Yet it was easy for me to forget "Just don't drink!" which was and is today, the substitute for "Hello" and Goodbye" between my sponsor...
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It's the first drink that gets you drunk.
It was such a revelation to me that if I didn't start drinking, if I didn't take that first drink or drug then I couldn't get drunk.  That the first drink is part of an obsessive/compulsive process that always has an end in drunkenness amazed me when I finally saw the light.

I remember a guy who said in his drunkalog that when he heard this he thought he had the clue to avoid geting drunk. It seems that so many of us come to A.A. thinking it will teach us how to drink in safety.  He went into a bar and he ordered a drink and he carefully set it to one side.  Then he ordered a second drink which he drank and then, of course, another and another until he was drunk as...
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Every Time I Drink I Break out in Spots
I remember a man saying at a meeting that every time he drank he broke out in spots: spots like Chicago or Hawaii. He said that once he picked up a drink he never knew where the drink would take him.

I remember once after a period of sobriety picking up a drink and then coming to and becoming aware that I was moving.  I had thought at first I was in bed.  Then I realized I was in a car and the sun was rising.  The last thing I could recall was being at home and it was evening.  It turned out I was about a hundred miles from home, missing about twelve hours of time, with a friend I hadn't seen for a while and didn't know how I had gotten where I was.
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From William James
From William James, Varieties of Religious Experience: The simplest rudiment of mystical experience would seem to be the deepened sense of significance of a maxim or formula which occasionally sweeps over one. “I’ve heard that said all my life,” we exclaim, “But I never realized its full significance until now. (p.416, 2002, New York: Modern Library Edition)” “A resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”
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